It’s all about Expectations …..

Do you believe that the more you expect, the more are your chances of being disappointed?
Do you believe that this belief could actually take away or reduce your chances of being disappointed? If yes, you are fooling yourself, completely. It’s like knowing something and yet being oblivion to it, because you think it’s easier to be ignorant.

Everyone has a plan in their life, for their life. Even I did. In fact I still do. If it works out the way you planned it, well and good. But not always does everything fall into place like anticipated. It’s like, rules are meant to be broken; Plans are meant to be ruined. May be it dint pan into the frame that you had designed, but so what, you could always make another frame for the new picture. It is how you look at it; it is how you perceive it.

All of us react in different ways when asked the all time favorite question “Where do you see yourself in 5 years from now?” Some of us think, what a stupid question, how would I know, life is so uncertain, who can say what it has in store for me. Some of us say, “I want to be a “successful” something “(could be lawyer, software professional, doctor, journalist blah blah). As soon as you fall into the latter, you definitely have expectations from yourself.

Success, to me, requires an ambition; a motivation; a desire to climb up the ladder. And ambition means setting a goal and working hard towards fulfilling it. And with that, you have your first expectation from yourself. So what I’m getting at here is that it is but natural to have expectations. All you need to learn to do is to handle disappointment in the right manner, if any (God forbid). Take it in your stride and say I’m not the one to run away from failures but to face them. The fear of disappointment is the worst of its kind. It lets you do absolutely nothing about your ambitions, or it subconsciously spoils all your chances of success and lets you justify by saying “The higher your expectations, the greater your disappointment.”

I think we have all had a phase where we come back home from an exam to an anticipating mother and we are way too irritated to explain how we performed in the exam, for the simple reason that you wouldn't be able to face the disappointment on her face. And clearly, all parents expect something out of their children. Is it okay for them to expect? Do they have any right to expect? Of course they do. There is no arguing on that. But the real question is what do they expect and are they expecting too much.

Haven’t we all seen cases where a teenager completely loses his self-confidence and moral because too much is being expected out of him or her and he doesn't know how to handle the pressure. He probably begins to think that he is a good-for-nothing loser and there begins the psychological trauma. I think as full grown adults, parents must understand the capability of the child and set expectations accordingly. I mean it is utter nonsense if you know that a person has absolutely no aptitude for Mathematics and Science and expect them to miraculously top the IIT-JEE or any of the Science related exam. It’s almost like expecting a frog to bark. And telling the frog, you disappointed me because you dint bark and you croaked.

For me, life has always been very easy and very kind. I for one hail from family which has never pressurized me to do anything or to be somebody I’m not. There was never a moment where I was made to feel like I’m not capable, even though there are many IITians in the bloodline and I’m clearly not one. Probably biology just failed me here, the damn genes just did not get passed on. But thankfully when I was born, all that everyone was worried about was about naming me and did not say “Ye Engineer Banegi”. I think the only think that is expected out of me is to be a good human being and I think that’s not much. I mean how hard is it to respect elders, help people and just be generally a nice pleasant person ( Never tried it :P But it doesn't seem like rocket science to me) So I’d like to conclude my expectations-theory by saying, life is a mixed bag- it will contain expectations and disappointments. Don’t expect unreasonably. But also don’t lower your expectations to meet your performance. Raise your level of performance to meet your expectations. Expect the best of yourself and then do what is necessary to make it a reality.